I think the flow is tremendous.
But in the beginning... I don't know.
I'd say this is something that works better as an audio piece.
When you really break it down lyrically, particularly the beginning. It's spinning its wheels like mad but the words don't actually mean anything. And towards the end, the bars lengthen a little which is counterproductive to the style I was feeling.
But right in the middle, it all works well.
I think you definitely have talent though.
Keep it up.