Nice. With a little editing I think this would've deserved a five. It went along very well with the beat I have in my head right now, which is the song 'Just Drop Dead,' which is a new song off of the upcoming album by Limp Bizkit. Oh well, I'm rambling... the only thing I see is that your wording at the end of each line is somewhat predictable. It worked out nice in this piece, but might not turn out so well in another. Keep elevatin'. Peace...