Here, I'll go even more indepth with my critique:

Rheologist formulas and infantile injections
Times the only antidote to miles of tension

The second line is fine. The first one talks about rheologist formulae: which would mean the formulae of the rheologist, rheologist being the person actually studies the flow of matter and not the actual rheology of the womb, which may be what you're trying to say (the flow of liquids in the womb). The use of infantile injections is not necessarily incorrect, but most people, when seeing the word infantile, associate it with immaturity --- though it could also mean related to infants. But an infant is a baby, born, but still not able to talk. It would be 'fetal injections'.



Are you saying the womb is the peridium (the membrane of the fruit, the baby being the fruit?) You're calling the womb itself demented, but a womb isn't; the womb supports the baby. It is the mother that is demented. Calling the human peridium (which makes me think of the peridium itself being human, even though you could mean having the qualities of a human, but the wording here --- wording being the flaw of the entire piece --- is off) demented makes me think that you're not talking about the womb.



I was arguing this with a friend, actually. We were talking about the meaning of 'kid', if it relates to the mother or parent. You say the sinner's gist, meaning the sinner's idea, followed by another dependent clause that makes it a fucked up sentence in which neither seems to relate to each other. Who is the kid? If the mother is the kid, the chutist could refer to the mother being a parachutist and having a degree, so she is educated enough to survive the 'fall of life'. This would be good, except that the wording of it is confusing.



Neolithic practices? That particular era was when humans were actually becoming more sensible and modernized. It means 'new stone', as in the new stone age. Mesolithic or Paleolithic would fit better. What is the amethyst? Are you trying to say amber? Which preserves the baby, but the amber lies because it's suppose to preserve the baby but instead kills it? But that doesn't make sense because the womb itself doesn't kill, the 'infantile injection' does.



Which destroys the amber concept, because amber doesn't die; it's tree sap, it's not alive. Deliquesced means it melts, and the sentence implies the amethyst itself is melting into an evil thing. But amethyst itself is an inanimate object, not capable of living or dying or good and evil, just like the womb. And what are the reflective shards of the heaven sent?


There is a bit of it. A lot of the wording doesn't make sense, though the metaphors like the AMBER preserving the baby but ending up killing it would be nice, but the amber itself doesn't kill the baby. You need to word your stuff so it's coherent, or else it makes no sense and comes off as a bad attempt at sounding smart.