yo, check it man, this one's almost the same as your other post I replied on, once again your concept nice, still being truthful, pretty good rhymes, but the flow still needs more work thought kid, you should try that bar form cats is talking about...
"So what if you can get a man killed? Who cares how much platinum is in your grill? The only thing true hip hop fans care about is skill", see I like what u saying here, i feel the same way, but the flow is still a bit off, work on that man...

Peace