1st bar: the first bar needed to be cut down and worded diffrent so that it could hit harder

2nd bar: i wasn't really feelin the first line in this bar....the second line was a little decent....u should probably used that as a set up for a punch

3rd bar: stretched again....same as the first bar

4th bar: i c what u were trying to do....but hate to say it to my a crew member but that line was a filler

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