Well, uh being a dick ain't so bad. See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinkin' it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because... pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck! And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get?? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!!!

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