Keep rhymin dogg.
You show promise like your homeboy inspire.
Try work with the layout too, that'll make it easyer for cats to hear your flow...

Like the line:
Strong and proud, however never loud, battlin and strugglin, too many things to be jugglin,

Try like:

Strong and proud, however never loud
Battlin and strugglin, too many things to be jugglin

Nah mean?
Respect though - keep spittin.