Wonder why he can’t get pussy? The game he speaks is wasteful
Women will never get to May as if they all became extinct in April
The concept here against Mayhem is cool... yea it wasn't worded well tho. Basically, u took the easy way out and thought of the most obvious concept... so, what you should have done is brainstorm a listing of things that have to do with may, april, the months before... until u get something good.. I can't think of anything dope on the concept, but maybe a punchline like "Anyone women claimin' to get to May is just an April Fools Joke".. I dunno, just think of more ideas, thats all
Pass me a pillow before his verse cause when this creep do it?
His text is a K-Fed Concert, we’ll probably sleep though it...
comparison punches like this.. if ur gonna do them, they gotta be funnier. This comparison really wasn't that funny so just be more imaginative when brainstorming things u sleep through
..,And even HE knew it, thinking I’m fake and can’t Spit Ether?
Mayhem’ll get “Beat to death” Like he lost a foot race to the Grim Reaper
okay, kinda funny, but this was like REAL corny... don't use quotes, they look newbish like this. The main problem with this bar though is that its not even really a punch. Your just making a statement that he'll get beat to death, but no real punchline in it... i'm just not personally a fan of violence/thread type punches, I feel they are kinda indirect so avoid them
I’ll cut his Opinions off, the ones he got is hopeless
But I will give him the floor, That’ll be easy when I knock him on it
the setup really killed this punch cuz you really didn't lead well into the "i'll givve him the floor" thing......setup should been more like "i'll give u a chance to spit ur wack shit... i'll give u the floor...." that kinda thing u know? Even so though, this shit is kinda too simple
Him in this league is laughable I’ve never killed more gayer
He should be `Russian Da signout like a Soviet Billboard maker
Russian shit is played..... really no way to word or make this better, its played regardless. My best advice for this type of thing would be to read more verses. Read as many verses as you can, especially from good writers, and just see what's been done before so you have a better idea what not to use

Overall, verse was just a bit too simple, get ur creative juices flowing. Also, try to dig up personals cuz personals/nameplays that haven't been used are always better than generics. Sorry I couldn't reword much of ur shit, not in that type of mood, but hope that helps.