ACT II
The Trailer Park
Serb Jones entered the trailer park feeling pissed off and upset. His clothes hung tightly to his body, what with them being a couple of sizes too small. He dragged the carrier bag that held his books across the ground. And the most noticeable part of his rough look was that he only had one shoe on, something that yes, shockingly, WAS OUT OF THE ORDINARY. As he approached his worn down trailer an equally scruffy kid emerged from the trailer next door, his head twitching as if he was on drugs and apparently talking to himself.
MARV: Marvellous Jay motherfucker. WOOT! Queens Early!! Queens Early!! What up Serb? What's crackin? Queens Early!! NYC!! WOOT!
SERB: Oh fucking great, just what I fucking need. What do you want Marvin?
MARV: What, nah man.. I asked you what's up? Queens Early!! Ghetto!
SERB: Nothing is up. And do you have to keep fucking saying Queens Early and all that other shit all the fucking time. I thought you went to the doctor about that.
MARV: Yep, sure did. WOOT! NYC!! Doc said it can't be fixed. I got Herb Torrets or something. GHETTO!! MarvJay dooood!
SERB: Fucking hell. You do that shit when you sleep over and I'll kick you out the fucking bed.
MARV: No problem dude. But, you still ain't told me what's up. WOOT! I mean, you look like ass... but I mean, more than usual. WOOT! NYC!!
SERB: Its fucking school. I swear, one of these days I'm gonna beat that Joe's ass.
MARV: OH SHIT!! HAHAHAHA!! Queens Early!! He did that to you?
SERB: This, no. He fucking hit me again. And if that wasn't bad enough I've gotta meet him at Front Lines at six. And somehow I've gotta get a candy bar from somewhere. But thats not all, on the way home them fucking bastard BallerStatus Boys jumped me again and stole my shoe. Motherfuckers.
MARV: AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
SERB: Don't fucking laugh or I'll kick your ass. You need to help me. We need to get a candy bar before six?
MARV: Aight then.... to the Ysdat Candy Store! Queens Early!! WOOT!
Later, at the Ysdat Candy Store
Inside the Ysdat Candy Store, Mr. Gim E. Cookies is as per usual, eating cookies. At the same time he is talking to A.G. Wordz but for some reason the conversation doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
WORDZ: Yeah, I want this 40oz. and thats it.
MR. COOKIES: Why's that?
WORDZ: Cuz I wanna fucking drink it fool.
MR. COOKIES: Why's that?
WORDZ: Cuz I'm fucking thirsty.
MR. COOKIES: Why's that?
WORDZ: I don't fucking know, maybe cuz I ran here from my house.
MR. COOKIES: Why's that?
WORDZ: CUZ THEM FUCKING BALLERSTATUS BOYS STOLE MY FUCKING BIKE.
MR. COOKIES: Why's that?
WORDZ: MAN, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Wordz tosses some money at Mr. Cookies and storms out frustrated and angered from talking with Mr. Cookies, just like everyone else does. Serb and Marvin are walking down the street looking like a couple of homeless bums when they bump into Wordz.
WORDZ: WHAT THE FUCK!! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!
MARV: Queens Early!! WOOT!! Sorry dude. Ghetto!!
WORDZ: Oh shit, its Marvin "The Herb" Jay. Hows that speech problem going for you retard?
MARV: Its Herb Torrets, WOOT!! Shits incurable.
WORDZ: Ha! Dope! And look here, hows it going Serb you piece of shit?
SERB: Fuck you! Leave me alone!
WORDZ: Sure thing buddy. I'll leave you alone. Kronix is gonna beat your ass for me. And look, its almost time, I'll see you at Front Lines faggot.
Wordz walks off down the street laughing. Serb and Marvin head into the candy store and notice that there are no customers and Mr. Cookies is, SURPRISE.. stuffing his face with cookies.
SERB: Right, Marv.. you distract him whilst I swipe a couple of candy bars.
MARV: Sure thing, WOOT!! Queens Early!! Wait, how do I do that?? NYC!! Ghetto bitches!!
SERB: I'm sure you'll think of something.
Serb sneaks down one of the aisles and starts sifting through all the candy bars and stuffing them into his pockets. Meanwhile, Marvin heads over to Mr. Cookies still twitching like a stone cold crackhead.
MARV: Mr. Cookies, I have a question. WOOT! NYC!!
MR. COOKIES: Why's that?
MARV: Umm, I don't know. WOOT! I just do.
MR. COOKIES: Why's that?
MARV: That's a good fucking question. GHETTO!!
MR. COOKIES: Why's that?
MARV: You asked it, WOOT! You should know.
MR. COOKIES: Why's that?
MARV: ................................................ QUEENS EARLY!!
Mr. Cookies goes to grab another cookie from his plate and realises he has eaten them all. He starts to head for the far aisle to grab another ten boxes when he spots Serb filling his pockets with candy bars.
MR. COOKIES: Hey, you fucking jew. You're stealing my fucking stuff.
SERB: Umm, yeah...
MR. COOKIES: WHY'S THAT?
SERB: MARV, RUN!!
MARV: Queens Early!! MarvJay bitches!! GHETTO!!
Serb and Marvin rush out of the store and high tail it down the street. Mr. Cookies heads out after them shouting, but he only gets two steps out the front door and then decides to head back in. He looks up the aisle and spots boxes that make him forget about all his troubles.
MR. COOKIES: Cookies!!