Act II
The Nicolas Solo Estate
Inside the Solo Estate, the plans for reestablishing RapVerse County are underway. Or are they? Nos Aussie seems to be a little bit preoccupied with some unidentified creature that has made an appearance on one of the far walls. And strangely enough there is some unidentified camera man following the every move of Nos Aussie.
NOS AUSSIE: (Aussie Accent) Crikey mate, its taken time but we've finally cornered the dangerous, elusive and very deadly...... housefly. Now this little buggar has been giving us the run around for quite some time, but now we've got him. You've always gotta remember to be careful around these buggars though, because one false move and they'll buzz all round ya head.
AUSTIN CHEESE: (eating a cheese sandwich) Nos, would you quit being a fucking retard and get over here.
The dangerous, elusive and very deadly...HAHA!!... housefly shot off the window startling Nos and turning him into a terrified bumbling idiot.
NOS AUSSIE: (Aussie Accent) Crikey, its attacking! ITS ATTACKING!! TAKE COVER!! FLEE!! RUN FOR YA BLOODY LIVES!!
Nos Aussie bowled over the unidentified camera man and took a suicide dive over the sofa. He remained their for many seconds whilst Austin Cheese and King Solo III... and a bit, looked on in speechless wonder. After a while Nos emerged with a can of RAID in each hand ready for war.
NOS AUSSIE: (Aussie Accent) Is the little buggar gone?
AUSTIN CHEESE: (with a menacing look and tossing a fax machine up and down in his free hand) Nos, get your pussy, crocodile-wannabe-hunting ass over here before I fax you a beatdown.
NOS AUSSIE: (Aussie Accent) Fine, but... you wouldn't be so quick to judge me if one of them nasty buggars landed on your bloody cheese sandwiches.
SOLO III: Lets just get to this......... we need a plan of some sort.
AUSTIN CHEESE: A good one.
SOLO III: (punching his finger into the air) I've got it damn it. I'm royalty, I'll just order the execution of Governor Strobe. Then the County will be ours to do with as we please. God damn, I'm a fucking genius.
AUSTIN CHEESE: Strobe is the Governor, he makes the rules around here.
SOLO III: BULLSHIT!! I'M THE FUCKING KING!! BITCH!! I HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING FAMILY TREE!!
AUSTIN CHEESE: Yeah, but......
SOLO III: Does Strobe have a family tree? I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO!! Has he beat over 100 people in this place? FUCK NO!! And look at the Wall of Fame. (points to the east wall of the room that is almost bare, but does hold about 8-9 pictures) Is his picture up there? FUCK NO!! Just a bunch of dudes.. AND FUCKING ME DAMN IT!!
AUSTIN CHEESE: (admiring his wall of fame picture) Damn, I look sexy.
NOS AUSSIE: (Aussie Accent) Crikey mates, listen to you both. Bloody hell, why don't we just ask him if we can remodel the town?
(Solo and Austin stare at each other with blank faces and shrug their shoulders)
SOLO & AUSTIN: Works for me.
AUSTIN CHEESE: To the bat cave. Umm, I mean to Strobe's house.
Later at Strobe's house
Strobe is sat alone in a dimly lit room holding a clipboard of RapVerse residents, he has a huge smile on his face and is performing some strange wrist actions down by his crotch area.
GOV. STROBE: OOOOOHHHHHHH YYEEEEAAAHHHHHH SSSSOOOOOONNNNNN!!! You're getting booted from RapVerse today kid... oh yes, and you to... and you motherfucker. FUCK MAN!! I fucking love kicking people out of my town.... OOOHHHH YYEEEAAHHHH!!!
Just then the door leading into the room comes flying open with force crashing into the wall and then falling off the hinges. Strobe drops his clipboard and falls off his chair still clutching his crotch area... of course we have no idea what he was doing. Austin Cheese is stood in the doorway with his foot still in the air where he obliterated the door. He walks in with purpose followed by that ghetto Steve Irwin looking motherfucker, Nos Aussie.
NOS AUSSIE: (Aussie Accent) Crikey mate, that was a bit excessive don't you think.
AUSTIN CHEESE: Shut up Nos, go hunt a fucking slug or something.
NOS AUSSIE: (Aussie Accent) A FUCKING SLUG!! BLOODY HELL!! Do you think I've got a deathwish, those slimy buggars would eat me alive.
AUSTIN CHEESE: (pointing above Nos' head) Look, there's that housefly again.
NOS AUSSIE: (Aussie Accent) Crikey! Bloody hell! Run for your lives. IT'S ARMAGEDDON!! SAVE YOURSELVES!! (Nos bolts out of the room in panic)
AUSTIN CHEESE: Strobe, I don't wanna interrupt whatever sordid shit you've got going on for today, but we need to talk.
GOV. STROBE: What, what the fuck do you want....... (with disgust) AUSTIN??
AUSTIN CHEESE: RapVerse is a piece of shit, fuck.. its like the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen to date.
GOV. STROBE: What about.... fucking RapBattle Valley?
AUSTIN CHEESE: Ok then, its the second biggest piece of cow dung I've seen.
GOV. STROBE: What about... BallerStatus Boulevard?
AUSTIN CHEESE: BITCH!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Its a piece of crap, whether or not its the biggest doesn't matter, its still horse shit. And me and many of the old school RV citizens have come back to ReLaunch this motherfucker back to glory.
GOV. STROBE: Fuck you, you ain't doing shit to my town. The last time I gave you permission to do some construction, what happened? You built the PunchLine Arena which you fucking left and had it demolished. And the Hall of Fame?? That building is rotting away and we've had to resort to converting it to a Wall of Fame inside the house of that crackpot Nicolas Solo III.. and a bit or whatever the fuck his name is.
AUSTIN CHEESE: That shit won't happen this time around. I'm here to stay, and you WILL give me control to start building this bitch up to the fucking dope ass cheese sandwich it used to be.
GOV. STROBE: I'm the boss, and you ain't doing shit.
AUSTIN CHEESE: How about we battle for it? RIGHT NOW!! At Front Lines.
GOV. STROBE: AHAHAHA!! Done deal. I am the fucking almighty Strobe, nobody can beat me. Lets do it you fucking ass. We can head there now.
AUSTIN CHEESE: Done. To the batcave.. umm I mean Battle Club.