TO TEF:

He so gay, a guy robbed this fag and Final wanted to ravage the man
It didn't happen in Time Square but he still wanted what the Manhattan his pants
^ME vs FINAL
This didn't really work. Its creative, but its forced, you'd have to say Manhattan differently than how it is really said for it to work. Don't use wordplay that you have to change how something is said or its ineffective
The first Comedian with no wit at all dissin me? Hell No!
He has no funny bone in his body
………………..I think this guy's even missin his Elbows
^ME vs COMEDIAN
Okay, think about what you just said. Basically all your diss is that he has no elbows. I know it goes along with the funny bone thing, but saying he dosen't have elbows isn't an insult, its kinda stupid lol
I’ll try to stop insulting Seattle and bringing gays middle fingers
So now I’ll let Jon B(e),
…………………..since his punches are as played as that Singer
^ME vs JOHN HENSLEY
First off, don't use () to explain your shit, it looks like ur unconfident we'll get it. I didn't need the () to get it, but if you were writing a punch that makes little sense without the explanation, its prolly no good. Other thing about this is how can a singer be played? Punchline just doesn't make much sense
If he don’t like Cliché’s, who’s going THE WACK rout? homie I bet you….
Silence goes “Without saying” like Pantomime clowns performing for Deaf mutes
^ME vs BLACKSILENCE
simile punches are very rarely effective unless they are pretty witty and original.. which this isn't. As a whole, I'd say just avoid using these types of punches
You should worry about the 2 magnums I got on the dresser
One is for fucking your bitch, the other one will have you shot on a stretcher
^ME vs ACE
Magnum concept is okay tho its been used a few times before. The problem here is how you used it. Generally, you never use wordplay in your setup. Your setup should refer to the wordplay, then the first part of the punchline uses the wordplay, then the end of the punchline shows the twist on the concept which comes as the surprise. Maybe something more like this:

When u feel threatened, u just wanna hit this dude
You'd pop a magnum, but that'd be WAYY too big on you

Not perfect, but u get the idea
Piss’ed off or pissed on, golden shower guys gets hit wit something
The way he `Slurppee, Even 711 would think this kid’s Disgusting
This is okay i guess, but thing is it doesn't really work. A dude can't slurppee, a slurppee is a noun, not a verb. So this wordplay only really works one way. Maybe if u'd have said "He tried slurppees, but ... " sometimes with wordplay its hard to make it work both ways, but do ur best.
And the slut girl his mom had? it’s nothing to diss her
If I keep hitting Jo$h’s thumb with a hammer?……
…………..He still won’t get `Fingerbanged as much as his sister
B]The whole fingerbanged concept came off as pretty gay. You shoulda just avoided this whole punch
m too ruff for Jo$H, I’m clutching bats in the first place
When I swing he’s gonna “RUN HOME” quicker than players on 3rd base

^ME vs JO$HUA
this was self-glory. Really just don't use self-glory, thats all

Seems like ur biggest thing is the way ya use your concepts. A lot of them are worded in ways that I can tell what your going for, but they don't quite make sense the way ya use them or they aren't exactly punches. When you write, double check that what your saying is actually a diss and could offend someone.