Act I
RapBattle Valley - Abandoned Store
It was late at night, and somewhere in RapBattle Valley at one of the various abandoned stores a drug deal was going down. The infamous Burrito Tavarez, the legendary Mexican drug-running son of a bitch was in attendance with his ghetto ass sidekick Spulacious-D. Tavarez was always staying hidden as a result of his paranoia that has him believing Immigration is after him. And what better place for a RapVerse Citizen to hide than in RapBattle Valley..... THE LAST PLACE YOU'D EXPECT TO FIND AN RV DUDE!! Heading up the collection of random nobody RapBattle Citizens is the leader of their group.... MR. FEEBS. Sat in a wheelchair with tubes running into his head to keep his "Feeble Mind" from shutting down altogether, and over his shoulder is his LLL Heavyweight Title.
FEEBS: So, are we going to do this or not?
SPULACIOUS: Sure, just as soon as your friends stop riding each others jocks.
Of course, Spulacious-D was referring to the group of RB Citizens behind Mr. Feebs who weren't bothered about the deal as they were too busy dickriding each other.
BURRITO: Pinche Mayate! Let's get down to fucking business, eh!
FEEBS: You got the stuff?
BURRITO: Pendejo, of course I have.
FEEBS: Lets see it.
SPULACIOUS: Hold up there old man river, we wanna see the cash money first.
FEEBS: Don't you trust me?
SPULACIOUS: Nigga, I don't trust anyone until I see them dollar dollar bills in my hands.
Mr. Feebs clicked his fingers and one of the dudes behind him pulled his dick outta some other guys ass and brought over two briefcases. He popped them open to reveal that they were full of cash in the millions. Spulacious-D and Burrito Tavarez eyed the money up with pleasure.
FEEBS: So, are we good?
SPULACIOUS: Actually old timer, we're thinking that we're just gonna take this cheddar and blow. I mean, lets be real for a minute. Whats your old ass gonna do with so much heroine?
FEEBS: That is none of your god damn business rookie.
SPULACIOUS: ROOKIE! Oh, its on now motherfucker! I'll send your ass back to the home you fucking rolled out of.
FEEBS: You best hold your boy back, before I slap him back to the 3rd world country he was shipped over from.
BURRITO: Both of you shut the fuck up, eh! Why you always gotta draw the racial cards man? Now look, Mr. Feebs...... it ain't nothing personal holmes. But, we don't do deals with fucking RB bitches man. So, just let us take the money and there'll be no trouble.
FEEBS: I can't let you do that.
Mr. Feebs clicked both his fingers and SHOCKINGLY... the RB dudes behind him stopped riding each other for once and pulled out 9mm Berettas ready to gun down both Spulacious-D and Burrito Tavarez. The two didn't look worried though, in fact they actually had smiles on their faces. Burrito gave the nod to Spulacious who grabbed both briefcases and darted for a nearby table. He rolled over it and pulled it over with him making it into a shield.
The gunfire exploded inside the store. Burrito Tavarez though just walked slowly through it looking like the baddest motherfucker in the world. As the bullets flew by him missing him completely he pulled out a fat joint and sparked it up. He casually made it behind the table and sat down next to Spulacious who had a SUPER SOAKER at the ready.
SPULACIOUS: (jumping up to his feet with the supersoaker) YEAH, WHAT NOW!!! DEATH JIZZ MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
A few squirts of the deadly, creamy substance and three of the RB gunmen were dropped to the floor where the jizz proceeded to melt through them turning them into a bloody pile of gay, no talent sludge. Shots were returned, but the weak bullets couldn't penetrate the table...... but RB dudes lack power in practically everything and we all know that. Well, actually... a couple of them are pretty hard but overall they suck... AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT??
FEEBS: FUCKING IDIOTS!! Pull your fingers out of your asses and shoot that motherfucker!
RB DUDE 01: (pulls his right index finger out his ass, but leaves his left index finger up another dudes ass) Sorry boss.
RB DUDE 02: What about your other finger dude? Its starting to hurt.
RB DUDE 01: Man, he never said anything about pulling fingers out of other dudes asses.
RB DUDE 02: Aight, bet... keep at it son. Twirl it a bit to. OH YEAH SON!!
SPULACIOUS: (to Burrito) We need to get the fuck outta here.
BURRITO: Lets go then pendejo.
Spulacious-D holstered his supersoaker and got ready to move. Burrito took in a huge puff of his joint cutting the size in half and then stood and blew an immensely thick cloud of smoke towards Mr. Feebs and the RB gunmen. As the smoke fogged up, the two RV gangstas made their escape... casually walking to their car whilst Mr. Feebs and the RB gunmen got high from the smoke.
SPULACIOUS: So, where the fuck are we going now?
BURRITO: Where else, RapVerse holmes!