Act II
Random Convenience Store
Burrito Tavarez and Spulacious-D had been driving for about an hour and had stopped at some random convenience store that was conveniently located on a convenient stretch of road, CONVENIENT EH!! The two had entered the store which had 3 customers and the shopkeeper who looked like a fucking refugee. DAMN THEM FUCKERS COMING AND TAKING OUR JOBS MAN!!
SPULACIOUS: What are we doing in here man? You know them RB dicks are gonna be gunning for us now.
BURRITO: (smoking his tenth joint in the last hour) I don't know man, I just got the fucking munchies holmes. Get me some candy bars and shit bro, and make it quick man.
SPULACIOUS: Aight cool. I'll be a minute though, gotta get me some porn and shit so I can reload the juice blaster.
BURRITO: Pinche Mayate! Just fucking hurry it up holmes. I'll be outside man.
Spulacious-D cursed under his breath and grabbed a "Penthouse" magazine from one of the shelves and took it into the back room toilet. Burrito Tavarez wandered outside smoking his fat joint, but it ran out. So.... guess what, HE SPARKED ANOTHER ONE UP!! When he was outside he heard a scream from around the corner and then a hooker came sprinting out into the open pursued by a fucking ghetto version of that old serial killer Jack the Ripper.
REINCARNATED JTR: Get back here you fucking whore, I'm gonna fucking gut you like a fucking fish when I catch you.
(The whore ran straight up to Burrito Tavarez begging for help)
BURRITO: What the fuck mama cita! What is your problem?
WHORE: He's going to kill me! HELP ME PLEASE!!
REINCARNATED JTR: I've got you now whore!
(Burrito Tavarez was too busy getting high to help anyone. He just watched as the ghetto Jack the Ripper grabbed the whore and sliced across her throat)
REINCARNATED JTR: Finally, that whore was fucking annoying.
BURRITO: Oh shit holmes! Jack my man, I didn't recognise you for a minute.
REINCARNATED JTR: Burrito Tavarez! Shit son, how the fuck you been?
BURRITO: High holmes, fucking high! But yo, what the fuck are you doing killing bitches for man?
REINCARNATED JTR: It's what I do! I'm Jack The Ripper man, if I'm not killing whores then I'm just another regular joe.
BURRITO: You should be fucking bitches holmes, not killing them.
REINCARNATED JTR: I do, I do. I fuck the bitches and kill the whores. Come on man, I'm not completely fucking mental. Well I am... but I'm not crazy enough to not fuck bitches man.
Just then, Burrito Tavarez heard a ringing in his ear and for some unknown reason went fucking schizo. He started twitching like a motherfucker and looking all around, and then he saw the cars coming from down the road.
BURRITO: OH SHIT!!
REINCARNATED JTR: What is it man?
BURRITO: FUCKING IMMIGRATION!! They're coming for me!!
REINCARNATED JTR: Huh, there ain't no fucking immigration coming man. You been smoking too much of that shit.
BURRITO: They are coming. FUCKING HELL MAN!! YOU AIN'T TAKING ME BACK TO MEXICO YOU BASTARDS!!
Tavarez dropped his joint on the floor, and you know that means he is fucking serious. Jack on the sly slipped his hand over it and swiped it for himself. Tavarez reached in his trench coat and pulled out two HK-45 Sub Machine Guns and started firing out into the distance as he backed into the store.
BURRITO: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE. FUCK, YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME PERIOD. I AIN'T GOING BACK TO THAT SHITTY COUNTRY. SPUL YOU BITCH MOTHERFUCKER GET OUT HERE!!
SPULACIOUS: (busting down the toilet door with his pants half way down his ass) Break yo'self niggaz! What the fucks up?
BURRITO: IMMIGRATION IS COMING HOLMES!! LETS BLOW!!
SPULACIOUS: (shaking his head) Not fucking this again.
BURRITO: PINCHE MAYATE!! LET'S GO PENDEJO!!
Spulacious-D pulled his pants up and fastened his belt before locking and loading his supersoaker. Burrito was acting all paranoid and started shooting up the store for no reason.
BURRITO: Fucking Bitches!! You're all in on it!! You'll never take me motherfuckers!! Eat this fucking immigration bitches!! (empties both clips into the shopkeeper and customers killing them all)
SPULACIOUS: (noticing the cars coming down the road) Lets blow man. That's fucking Feebs and his boys son. (spots JTR gutting the whore) Oh shit son! What the fuck you doing here?
REINCARNATED JTR: Killing whores man! Just killing whores!
SPULACIOUS: Son, you should hit up RapVerse County with us.
REINCARNATED JTR: Are there whores there?
SPULACIOUS: Fuck yes man.
REINCARNATED JTR: Then I'm there man. I just gotta finish this whore first. I'll see you there bitch.
SPULACIOUS: Word son. (to Burrito) LETS FUCKING BLOW MAN!!
BURRITO: FUCKING PENDEJO'S! VIVA LA RASA MOTHERFUCKERS!!
As Spulacious-D leapt into the car Burrito Tavarez reached inside his trench coat and pulled out four grenades. He pulled the pins out with his mouth and hurled them into the Convenience Store before diving into his gangsta Low-Rider. He started the engine and motored away. Moments later...... the entire Convenience Store exploded with colossal force. The entire building was obliterated... yet funnily enough the reincarnated Jack the Ripper was left unharmed. When the smoke cleared he was gutting the whore still whilst smoking the joint he half-inched from Burrito Tavarez.
BURRITO: AHAHAHAHAHA!! FUCK YOU IMMIGRATION BITCHES!! I TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU!! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME MOTHERFUCKERS!! VIVA LA RASA!!
SPULACIOUS: Yeah, you got 'em. No more stops now. Its straight to fucking RapVerse County.
BURRITO: No problem man, now spark up the Mary Jane holmes!!