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Skadoosh!
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IP:
Act III
Inside Front Lines Battle Club
MC SYSTEM: Fuck this shit man!! Facing Austin is one thing, but that hairy english gorilla is another thing. You're on your own boss. I'M GONE FUCKAZ!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
GOV. STROBE: I don't give a fuck! I still win! You ain't doing shit with this town.
And then, the tall presence of Joe Kronix appeared and BOYAH!! delivered the power-slap almost obliterating Strobe entirely. But we all know, you can't be rid of him permanently otherwise RapVerse would not function at all. Needless to say, he is out of the way for a while.
AUSTIN CHEESE: Yeah, that'll do. The town is ours. Its time to rebuild. To the batcave... ummm, fucking hell man... we seriously need a batcave.
The Mexican gringo music came blaring from outside. Everyone was attentive listening to the music, some were even bobbing their heads. The gunfire put that to a stop, and the crazy Mexican insults that were flying were enough to make a dude laugh his ass off. And then the side of Front Lines was obliterated as the Low-Rider driven by Burrito Tavarez crashed through. Spulacious-D flipped out of his seat and performed some ninjitsu gymnastic moves in the air before landing.
SPULACIOUS: (holding supersoaker ready to do damage) BREAK YO'SELF NIGGAZ!!
SOLO III: Spulacious-D.. what the fuck are you doing back? I thought Strobe booted your ass out of town a while back.
SPULACIOUS: That's only because your snitchin' ass dimed me out man. What the fuck! I should come over there and put my foot down your throat right now.
SOLO III: BITCH!! I'M ROYALTY!! I DON'T SNITCH!! I told you when you left it wasn't me. FUCK YOU IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME!!
SPULACIOUS: Aight nigga, truce then. Now that I'm back like. And you can square us out by helping a nigga out with these RB bitches that have come after Tavarez and me.
AUSTIN CHEESE: RB Bitches!! Its faxing time now.
JOE KRONIX: Them fuckers didn't have shit on my lunch money when I was living over there. I'M A FUCKING STOMP 'EM!
Every RV Citizen took up a position and waited for the gang of RB sluts to enter Front Lines. It didn't take long for the RB guys to show up and then the RV vs. RB showdown began. About twenty random RB dudes piled out of the cars all packing guns and started firing on the RV guys. The random people that were attending the battle between Austin Cheese and Governor Strobe were instantly obliterated, but what do you expect from regular Front Lines herbs.
SPULACIOUS: (jumping up from behind the hood of the Low-Rider) BREAK YO'SELF! You want the Death Jizz bitches!!
BURRITO: (pulling a SPAS-12 shotgun from his coat) PENDEJO!! Eat this motherfuckers!
Tavarez blew a hole through one of the RB gunmen and sent him flying back through the open wall. Spulacious-D was obliterating guys with his Death Jizz. He unloaded on four guys and melted their fucking faces off. He got a little excited though and kept blasting them even after they were dead and ran out of ammunition.
SPULACIOUS: Shit, I'm out of ammo. Gotta reload. Someone cover me.
AUSTIN CHEESE: I've got you bitch. Hurry up and get to it.
Austin Cheese hurled a fax machine over into the crowd of gunmen and it landed on one of their heads crushing them into the ground. The return fire though shot a hole right through the cheese sandwich that he was eating. This did not sit well with Austin Cheese.
AUSTIN CHEESE: MOTHERFUCKERS!! That was a triple stacked sandwich.
Austin Cheese tossed his sandwich to the ground and pulled out two fax machines of even greater size than anyone had ever seen before. He hurled them with vicious intent and bowled through three more of the gunmen shattering every bone in their meagre bodies. During this, Spulacious-D had dropped behind the Low-Rider hood and cracked out a porno mag. He was rapidly beating off trying to unload some more of his lethal Death Jizz into the custom made supersoaker.
Meanwhile, Joe Kronix being the beast that he is was strolling towards the RB gunmen. Every bullet bounced off of him like he was the fucking Incredible Hulk or something. And, riding behind him using him as a shield was the crackpot King Nicolas Solo III... and a bit. The duo fell upon the gunmen with fury.
JOE KRONIX: Ain't got my fucking lunch money, BOYAH!! (he delivered a power slap that took off the top half of one of the gunmen) Yo bitch ass ain't had shit for me either. BOYAH!! (another power slap crushed a guys head)
SOLO III: I'm Royalty fuckfaces!! How dare you fucking ban me from your shitty ass Valley. I FUCKING OWN YOU!! (beats a guy to a bloody pulp with the royal cane)
A ricochet shot from one of the gunmen though clipped Solo's cripple scooter and toppled the piece of shit over leaving Nicolas Solo sprawled out on the ground.
SOLO III: Now ain't that a bitch!
In a fit of retaliation for his good friend, Joe Kronix went into "Beast Mode" and ripped the guy responsible for shooting at Solo into countless pieces. The carnage was immense as he strode through everyone like a colossus slapping a dude here, and a dude there. When he finished there was only four people left standing. BOOM!! Make that three as Burrito Tavarez unloaded a rocket into one of them from the Rocket Launcher he had pulled from his coat.
RB DUDE 01: Lets fucking get outta here man!
RB DUDE 02: I'm with you!
RB DUDE 03: Me to, lets go back to RB Valley man. These fuckers are crazy.
RB DUDE 01: Word, and I've got a group of dickriders just waiting for me when I get back.
SPULACIOUS: FUCK NO BITCHES!! Catch a load of this Death Jizz!
After fully reloading his supersoaker, Spulacious-D caught the fleeing three RB gay boys with shots and laughed as they melted to the ground whilst trying to run. The battle was over. RapVerse was victorious... THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES!! WE OWNED YOU!! Then, out of the smoke and carnage rolled Mr. Feebs in his motorised wheelchair. He rolled up and down inspecting each of his downed men.
FEEBS: Bunch of fucking dickriding jackholes! They can't do shit right.
JOE KRONIX: And now its your turn to join them.
BURRITO: Hold up holmes! He's cool man. He was part of the plan all along. Nice work holmes, and welcome man.
JOE KRONIX: You an RV Citizen now, huh?
FEEBS: That's right boy! I've never really thought much of this place. But at the moment it has more potential than RapBattle Valley...... and I'm not stupid enough to stay with something that is dying. All of the RB Gangsta's have migrated elsewhere, I thought it was time I did so to.
JOE KRONIX: Well then, if you living here now.... What you got on my lunch money?
Everyone fell silent, they knew what was coming. But, Mr. Feebs didn't seem worried at all. He got his serious look on and concentrated hard and......
FEEBS: You don't want my lunch money.
JOE KRONIX: I don't want your lunch money.
FEEBS: You want to give me your money.
JOE KRONIX: I want to give you my money.
FUCKING BLAOW!! Who needs a fucking Jedi Mind Trick...... in RapVerse County nothing works better than a......... FEEBLE MIND TRICK! Joe Kronix looked dumbfounded, he reached in his pocket and handed his sack of lunch money to Mr. Feebs and then walked off looking confused and scratching his head. Austin Cheese stepped over the rubble that was Front Lines eating a freshly made cheese sandwich and eyed up all the damage.
AUSTIN CHEESE: I guess that's the end of Front Lines. Now, who wants to tidy this mess up?
And there was silence.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Next time on RapVerse: The Series...
Wait a second, there are no questions. That brings a close to that 3-story arc that started with demands for a candy bar and culminated with a showdown between RV and RB and then a fucking SUPER DOPE FEEBLE MIND TRICK!!
The series will now take a weeks break because I am busy and them fucking cock-suckers at Telewest think they can shut my internet down just because I forgot to pay my bill and now I won't have the money for it until the end of next week. Thank you Joe for that. I would've had it if I hadn't got fucking wasted with you. Although that 4 Swig Killer was raw as hell man. TELEWEST BASTARDS!! How dare you put my series on break... I WILL FUCKING OWN YOU!!
So until then...
Enjoy the LBL!! And be prepared for the Series to return with more comedy, more action, and more power-slaps than you could possibly imagine.  |