Both of you based at least one punch on a concept that somehow involved me, and for that you get the only full length breakdown vote I'm going to do this week.


FINAL
You|uoY suck|kcus, make|ekam u|u hit|tih the|eht dash|hsad
Cuz the setup was less`a flip then u outside a gimmick match
To be honest, I don't really like this. I'm gonna be serious, I get the concept you was going for but if you would've just put out a standard punch with some nice wording you could've come across a lot better. Whilst some may view the setup line as kind of creative, I just found it annoying.
Expecting to win is crazy, you can barely pass a decent line
And im not flippin when i say
. . .Most of ur shit is mostly shit of mine
This was pretty nice. The concept was cool and the wording whilst not perfect was good enough for the punch to hit hard. The whole 'not flippin' part was decent, I don't know if you was going for the double meaning or not with the "not flippin" as in not flipping concepts and the "not flipping" as in not getting mad, but its there anyway so yeah, decent.
C'mon man your 21, claiming u`ll get your liscense but when
n` im not mad at all - Atleast u enjoy taking my lines for a spin
Yeah, now you are just getting played in your own verse by using the same concept for the first three bars. That has seriously let you down man, because the flipping concept should only be used once really. I was nice and let you get away with two, but three is a bit too excessive.
Ripping wor`s ahgo`, In the league im zooming right by whores
An` the reason u dont See D`s <-- s'cuz no one will buy yours
Again, this was a nicely flipped punch but the concept of nobody buying a dudes CD's is fucking played to hell man. I give you props on a nice, fresh flip. I have not seen the concept flipped like that at all.
Geeky glasses, funny clothes, a straight nerd look to the limb
So its easy to notice A.Gee. - is the complete opposite of him
This was a nice wordplay, flipped into a nice diss. Its sort of making a statement and then flipping it into a punch which I like. Its got a nice bit of simplicity to it and gets to the fucking point and hits. These types of punches are the ones that work.
This nerd`s a drug addict, Wordz thinks weed and coke is coo`
So u tryed to take wyte and align - of his verse merked ya two
Lol, this was probably your best bar so far. The concept could be considered played, but its one of those flipped concepts where you can make it cool if you flip it well enough. I mean, the drug aspect of the bar is only deemed acceptable because of the way you flipped it otherwise I would slap you for dropping a fucking drug/coke line bar.
im really religous, im in church alot prayin, head to the ground
So i hope all hail god - gets hit by is Atleast 3 hundred pounds
Changed my mind, this is the best bar now. This was funny as hell. Its not really a diss as much as it is a hope for violence laid upon your opponent. I am a fan of these types of punches and you worded it and flipped it nicely.
But fuck life, i was raised from druggy`s and dealer`s in herds
So basically i came from nothing
. . . and yes, im ashamed my mother is wordz
This was bad man. I can't believe you finished with something as corny, cheesy, childish and pathetic as this. You are decent and its stupid filler bars like this that let a verse down. The closer to a verse should be one of the rawest lines, like the opener. This was just fucking gay.


VS.


INDEATH
He got Solo's effection n support, but that can only hurt duke
Coz if he's out writing predictions....
....I hope for ur sake he's writing a verse too
The wording for this punch completely throws it off man. The concept is decent, but you let yourself down using the wrong words. "I hope for ur sake he's writing YOUR verse too" is what you were looking for. And the way you worded the setup completely throws the punch off because you took the punchline in a different direction. Your saying he's got my support because I predicted him to win but that is ultimately gonna hurt him... and then you say I should be writing his verse for him. What you should've been looking for was something like.....

"You got Solo's affection and support, but this is how it works duke
His prediction'll only be truth if he's fucking writing your verse to"

^^ Whilst it ain't nothing special, it is simple, worded decent enough and to the point and comes off as more of a diss than what you dropped.
Son, u suddenly active after being dorment in the league
So the hell if final.....who the fuck DT put against me this week
You are wording your punches horridly. You add in unnecessary words and leave out the necessary words for a decent flowing punch. Aside from that though, this was fucking shit. I don't mean to be harsh but you basically used poor wording to call Final a nobody and that is just fucking shockingly gay.
My left hook'll blow ur spine, coz faggets love to act brave
---->But after I ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^....
....even batman'll be jelouse from how I make ur back cave
Make a note.... ^^^^^^ are fucking PLAYED TO FUCK now. They are annoying and only serve the purpose of making your verse look shit. Moving on to the punch, it wasn't that good at all. The wording wasn't there again and correct me if I'm wrong but I believe Batman had a BAT CAVE.... not a fucking BACK CAVE! Stop trying to force the shit because it just ain't working.
Doggy Its murder I spit, anything less is not worth it
what we have in common? Im in the leagion of doom...
....u swore a leagion to spit doom'd verses
Finally, a punch that has potential. The concept was nice but fucking hell man, you need to sort your wording out because it is fucking atrocious. Your punches often come off with a nice concept and then a chopped up flow to them because you are not wording them correctly.
This dudes worthless, check the price tag coz he acts soft
His souls on clearance, But his mothers the one taking half off
Yeah, the concept was not all that great. I've seen these punches before and I have seen them flipped and worded a lot better. That is all I have to say on this really.
U in it bad brah...like ur chick trying to fit regular fanzy clothes
'Coz showtys on all fours...
...But the sign says not to feed the animals
Nah man, the setup has basically nothing to do with the punchline. The punch is basically you saying his girl is an animal, a beast. And the setup is all going on about his girl putting on fancy clothes. You need to work in a more relevant setup and flow it into the punchline for maximum affect. Something like...

"Your chick got that beastly look, she's even a hairy creature in fancy clothes
Hell last time she got on all fours..
.. a dude put up a sign saying not to feed the animals"

^^ Simple, decent wording and it is more of a diss and has more relevant connection between the setup and punchline.
Son u in danger, u lack the status to be a groove 'n' classic
But I'll help pull u through...the passanger seat window n onto moving traffic
This was pretty tight. I swear I have seen it somewhere else though. I'll ignore that though because I have no proof and I'm not that petty to go and find some. The concept was nice, the wording for once wasn't fucking astronomically gay. The flip was decent and overall this is your best bar by far.
This kid aint the truth, I dont believe when this geek may say so
'Coz last week he faced a no show...n almost lost by K.O.
This is hard hitting because it is a fucking personal. Word. You do need to have slightly better wording though because it flows to begin with and its like it comes to an abrupt end, the shit should just flow easy from start to finish.


Right then, now the final breakdown. Even though for some strange reason the voting has gone in the favour of Wordz, Final won this battle pretty comprehensively. He had like 4 bars that were decent in his verse and Wordz only had about 2 worth mentioning.
The main problem you are having Wordz is that you can't seem to word your punches at all. Don't be disheartened because a lot of people can't word them and that is what people like me are here for. To help you. You need to have your punch coming off like how you would say it in real life. Now let me just say, if they already are coming off like how you would really say them then you my friend are a fucking retard with a speech impediment. I'm not being nasty but some of your punches are just missing necessary words, even small things like "are" or "and" or even "a"... just the little things. You may think it is stupid, but you remove them or forget to slip them in and they can throw your punch off totally. Also, sometimes you tend to have a setup that is not connected to the punchline that well, or sometimes not at all. The setup should always be relevant my friend otherwise the bar is just fucking garbage.
On to Final, you my friend have a funny problem and that is you try too hard to be OVERLY creative. For example, the opener was a decent concept but the setup line was fucking gay and annoying, you tried to be too creative and fucked the punch up. Simple wording would've sufficed and made it a lot better. The CD's line was a decent example of good creativity, just the right amount to make the punch work. Also, you seem to be using a few played concepts and trying to flip them which you succeed in most times. The problem is that a fresh concept dropped nice is better than a played concept flipped raw. You need to try and keep fresh because if you continue to flip played concepts, regardless of how well you do it you will start to lose a lot of battles. And fucking hell man, a different concept in each bar please. What the hell was with the first 3 bars being based on the same concept, that was unacceptable. You can get away with using a concept twice in a verse sometimes providing you space the bars apart and don't put them next to each other... but it is always best to have a new concept for each bar.

The final point I would like you both to take a look at is your OPENER and CLOSER. Final, you had a poor opener and a poor closer and Wordz you had a poor opener but at least a decent closer. If you have any brains when it comes to text battling, or any battling really you should know that your opener and closer should always be the rawest bars of your verse. It doesn't always work that way, but you should aim for that... or at least having them both be decent. The OPENER sets the pace for the verse, if you drop a crappy opener then a voter reading your verse is going to be put off by it and will most likely have a deflated opinion about the rest of your bars. And the closer, that is the last thing they will read... erego it should be raw so you have a lasting impression on them. You don't want them reading a shitty closer and then thinking "well that was fucking garbage" because that is their last thoughts on your verse and more often than not it reflects in their ultimate decision on the battle. Whilst you may be able to get around this when it is a blowout and your opponent drops total shit throughout... the OPENER and CLOSER especially are key when it is a close battle and the voter is struggling to make a choice.

Overall my vote goes to Final.


I hope you read through my advice and take it in and try and get better. You both have incredible potential and could be fucking immense monsters in battles if you really put the effort in. No hate to both of course.