As you said..Your new, which somewhat reflects in your rhymes. You do have a lot to work on, but no doubt, keep on rhymin, and I can tell you right now, you've got potential. You've just got to want it (to be better) and work for it. No matter what others say, keep on trying, keep on rapping. If you want some pointers and shit, go to the Wackness Emergency Center theirs a lot of good pointers in there.

"you had your chance to lyrically dance, but nigga, u blew it,
before you spit your "rhymes" at me, make sure to thorougly chew it, "

That was good^ Keep on writing,