Going 10 wit LG. is worthless, he'll just keep saying he a corner lover
and 'babble on 5' bars so hard that he'll get signed by Warner Brother(Babylon 5)
Okay, first just a simple tip. When u do wordplay, do it like this "And Babylon 5 bars so hard" ... use it like that instead of explaining it later. Besides that, concept is cool, ain't seen it before, but it doesn't sound like a punch. Saying he'll babble on 5 bars, i see what ur goin' for, but its kinda indirect. When ya do wordplay, try to go for stuff thats more to the point.
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if you flap lips i'll pull mac clips and let hammers fly man
so i dont need no talkin,dogg...Apostle aint a family guy fan
This concept was really funny, I liked this shit a lot. Problem with it is u used it poorly. You didn't punch him at all, all you said was u don't like family guy. Try it like this:

Always runnin' ur big mouth, i'll mac clips n' let hammers fly
U do so much talkin, dogg, I thought u appeared on the family guy

This way its more of a punch rather than just talking about yourself
top notch i am, while you a n00b a fake a lame fronter
LG a 'no body' like the achievment wall of a game hunter
Try to avoid simile/metaphor type punches unless they are like really creative. Most attempts at this kind of punch fail. This wasn't bad, but it came off as kinda corny and not really seriously hitting your opponent.
you a cpu geek so in reality you couldnt clap wit this shooter
cuz if i said get ya life togetha LG would pack up his computer
This is really played man, seen it lots of times. Basically when u write, think about how obvious the concept is. AKA, that talkin' dogg, that was fresh, a creative concept likely not done before. This, u think ur the first dude to say someone has no life but the computer? I mean just think about it, kinda obvious concept, prolly be done before so just consider that when u write
Depressed dude? its okay everyone who faced me felt ether
but no need for low spirits,cuz you have no chance in hell neither
this was okay, u can only do so much with this concept, but the way ya flipped the low spirits thing was pretty creative so good job with that.

Verse was up and down, i still love that talkin' dogg shit, one of the funnier concepts i've seen in awhile, but some up and down lines. Just when u write, make sure all of ur shit is actually punches and not just statements.