i thought this was a decent piece... mostly well written ... whats with this line though..
I make jokes before battling folks just to sass my victims
the ones who are always quick to come with the negative criticisms
my sword thru your mouth and out the back of your head, causes injury
you were'nt dead and pled for me to kill u as I left u in your misery"

it kinda through me off with that coma in there... dont know how you were trying to move the flow

i liked it though.. nice

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