your bars are stereched... You need to take out some words...
For example...

so ive been at this rap thing for 5 months and 3 days,
and im comin up faster than the cars drive on the free ways,

it would flow better if it said this.

"i've been at this rap thing for 5 months and 3 days
comin up faster then sports cars on the freeways"

It still pretty much says what u want it to but, its shortened and flows better... I feel like the whole verse can be fixed like that and re-done. keep writin