ight this a decent piece. you had some pretty dope lyricism going on i feel that. ur words intertwined with each other they went along good with each other and were beyond basic.

the flow was good i could actually picture this being spit and not just read. i could picture it to a beat. most of the people round here cant flow for shit but u did a good job at it. so props on that

but the thing i think it lacked was originality and it wasnt too interesting. not saying that ur shit is boring but i think it lacks being interesting as in what your actually saying not how your saying it. i think u should start using your mind a lil and start finding new originial topics to approach and speak on shit that not much people have rhymed about. and i think u should get more personal not neccassirly whats actually going in your life but in your head. put you on display let people know what makes you up and why your diffrent from just any other shit in a can.

good job keep improving and like i said approach some new topics rather than just the same old stuff that u hear in songs. if whats in this rhyme is true then let people feel what u really mean by it. if u have any true feelings bout what your writing your gonna become more passionate and your gonna find your rhymes having lots more emotion and being in more depth. most of all whatever u say make sure its real. pc

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