i'm trapped in a sea..
not knowing what to say..
numb. explain that feeling.
to me. numb.
numb is nothing.
nothing is a feeling..
a feeling i feel too much..
i feel nothing? frustration is nothing.
pain is nothing.
confusion is nothing.
knowing she's wasting her time? that's nothing.
tell me that nothing means nothing. i'll agree.
i'm engulfed. swallowed.
i can taste the future..
but all i can see is the present.
a feast for a king..
served on a plastic plate.
it's not right. i know it's not right.
I WANT control. I NEED control....
but i can't get it.
it hurts her - it hurts me..
it hurts us together. but WE'RE not together.
all i want - need -..
is to get her to be honest. quit lying to herself.
she's trying to lie to a liar.
jokers never get far..
common knowledge - but nothing is common any more.
stuff is different. too different.
disorientation is a common mindstate -
and it's not even induced.
call it life.

__________________
accomplishments:

being better than you @ life x9.