Jonny-Not bad, overall you got good concepts....your not wording them terribly, overall i think your rhyme scheme is good. Both punches were effective. Couldn't really pin out which one was better. overall good job

Jay-You got a great rhyme scheme man. good multis. but wording your punches is whats killing you. They're leanin more towards statements rather then punches. Although the 2nd bar made me laugh. i'd have to give it to.


V/jonny

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