Guest
|
IP:
erm...are you a virgin?!...nah only kidding...
...this was simple, very simple...i could see what you were trying to do....use humour to put through a serious point...
...but it was too blunt at times, not enough edge...sounded too simple, not enough complexity...you need a bit of both if you are to make a 'satire' kind piece work...or at a lot of the first...
...still, has some sort of value to it...some of the points are there to see...but it just doesn't seem 'biting' enough...not enough edge...
....respect...
|