could of focus more on punches... some lines seem like you was just rambling about stuff that u'r ill and hot and ill and hot you told them you ill and hot now show'em why and get into it ya dig i felt you had potential to make it a good read but it sorda lack a bit i mean i still read it and it wasnt to bad just keep droping them it'll come to you soon enuff...
i mean atless you got the point of a flow most cant even get a flow so just work on the rest u got potential like i said....