not sure it belongs in poetic scriptures, but i'll give u feed anyways... i didn't particularly appreciate the "flow" of it, the length of ur lines and # of syllables varied too much not to notice... nice concept, pretty creative writing, but you could increase your variance went it come to vocab, a couple spots sounded repetitive... overall, nice piece playa, lookin foward to more, keep writing...

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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled