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Originally Posted by White Trash
well terumoto its practicaly impossible to not have a personality. now whether its original or not is one thing but just by reading what u said i can say all your seperate personalities aside you very much have a real one. i can say your "playful" and "experimental" or your "insecure" and "fearful" since you could have all these seperate personalities to make you feel more important and ta re-assure yourself that your somebody in this world. or you could have them all as a form of protection from people really knowing you. another thing i can say bout you is that "your good at acting" all traits describing a personality and thats true about you.
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Personalities don't exist, they are illusions. What you're saying is what I mean, you can look at my actions and say I have a personality that includes things like "good at acting," "playful" or "insecure." But in reality, that doesn't mean anything. You're just describing my actions, not proving they are part of a personality.
The original or innate personality does not exist. Which one is the true me? Is it the confident one? The shy one? The boyfriend? The stranger? You can't discern which "personality" would be the real me. You might say the real me is the person I am when I am alone, and am free to act in any way that I want without being restricted to doing certain things because of other people. When I sit alone and contemplate this, I can't find any sign of a personality. I also know why other people think they can see an identity.
People have a picture of their identity/personality in their mind, and they behave accordingly. You might be discovering it as you go along in life, it is always changing. So, once you have created this character in your mind, it is you. That's why people can say "Oh, I can't believe I did that. That isn't like me at all." In fact it is completely idiotic to say that, since it was more like them than the thing that they would consider "like them," since they were doing the other thing instead of the thing that's "like them." People are confined by these ideas of their personality. You ever notice how the quiet kids stay quiet, and the loud kids stay loud? I guarantee you the quiet kids have a million things to say, which they can't because it would be abnormal for them to start voicing their opinions, since their identities as quiet kids have already been established.
The more you look for the real you, the more your sense of self dissipates. To be perfectly honest, I know my true self. It isn't an identity, a collection of memories, a bunch of likes and dislikes, or a continuous pattern of behavior. I don't have a single belonging in the universe.
While you live your everyday life, you feel you are yourself, right? You might be waking up, having a shower, driving somewhere, going to school, sitting on a train, or whatever else. That is what the ordinary you does, and through all of that you are probably giving a commentary on everything, or thinking about stuff. "Damn, this traffic is shit. I'm going to be late. Fuck, I forgot my other shoes. What am i even doing today? I have ___ at 10, then blah blah blah" you know what I mean? Always thinking. I don't have that commentary going on, because there is nobody to give it. When I am acting like I have a personality, it's there, but when I'm not there just isn't anything.