Son, im a critique this off proper, dont hate, just honesty.
Quote:
You thought that little cypher shit was cute...
trying to get at me and my crew.... but i peep your open mic....
i see you switch up styles...
you not the only one thats versitile....
U'll FIND OUT WHAT 300 J.G IS ALL ABOUT.....
ITS A WRAP.... FUCK R-EVO
(Valentino)
"This is an Annoucement From yours Truly...Shiest Lucia Valentino...
Certain Individuals talking about Resurrecting RV...hmmph...
..Naw you got it twisted "We" are going to Resurrect RV...
..and if you don't like it...do something about it...
Ransum Tell em how it is homie."
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An intro for text? I hate them enough on audio... eh
Quote:
I talk it...cuz I can back it...
Fuck whatever you were sayin.... I’m back bitch...
Got the game lay down like they got a back itch...
The whole package, money under the mattress...
The flow’s the box, the rhyme’s the matches...
I don’t gota practice.... I’m the scorin man-son...
Girls all over the globe wanna score wit Ransum...
I've always been here.... beef'in...now I’m just twistin it my way....
Slow flowin... not flyin down the highway...
I lay back goin much slower than the sign say....
Can’t come this way I’m an immovable object...
It's obvious... I ain't one of god's usual projects....
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First three lines you rhyme back, and that was hardly flipping it, where are the punches, you say the chicks dig you and the flows a box the money is the matches, but you need to think outside the box especially if this is a diss.
Quote:
time to switch an turn the heat up he's style.....
possabilities bother me in the fact it's often a novelty...
can't follow options contractive flossed in philosophies...
I'm in on all offers constantly tryna scholar these minor seeds...
the kind of heathen you is and the style you release is minor league...
I'm major in maths.... YOU out weighed in class...
can't figure or be timin' my speed....when I take belts in fame fast...
dont understand i'll say it in lammer terms...u been pre-quilifiyed for a quick defeet...
grinding on this mother fucker like a skaters...stomping this mother fucker with the dirt from my cleats...
I be up in your crib when you mouth shit...I house take all euipment...
but the bitch started crying that hes blouse rip...
Ima give you a nickel and my two cents and state i rape brides to be...
erase lives with speech...life on the line I tell them to shut off supplies...
that's currently wired to your system...to nerveless from these nervous butterflies...
in stomachs I'm cuttin' blunt with instruments...and spreadin' what's gutted nice...
depth sinkin with butter knives...flesh peels like the skin when I've sonned you from skies...
you above me - son that's a lie...the height of this lord writer is comin' raw to all those under his size...
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Kinda lost me here, "I be up in your crib when you mouth shit, i thouse take all euipment" That doesnt make sense but aside from spelling and lil mistakes, the blouse rip wasnt a good punch, ohh you call him a girl, real original, lol. I still cant figure out your still per say, like
Quote:
"""Ima give you a nickel and my two cents and state i rape brides to be...
erase lives with speech...life on the line I tell them to shut off supplies...
that's currently wired to your system...to nerveless from these nervous butterflies...
in stomachs I'm cuttin' blunt with instruments...and spreadin' what's gutted nice...
""""
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Take the first bar, read the two lines, what out of that is a diss? Why would you even waste your time writting that, its just filler lines, more or less bullshit to hold the reader over til the punch?
Quote:
time to Switch AN END THIS FOOL....
your bars are like ice cream they melt in the heat...
i thought you vegetarians don't really want beef...
your brain is full of sugar cause you think something's sweet...
your tongue got two left feet cause you're rhymin' off beat...
you're the opposite of victory.... your name is defeat...
your whole career won't awake.... it remains in a sleep....
remember Diss The emcee Above you,
Son u'r below sea level when it comes to ridin this flow...
had beef an got lucky... no battle was set... hes next exscuse is the libery had close....
300 J.G on ya block... with no weapon... cuz beating you is effortless....
why step to this... can mess with wit....the heat i spit is like a dessert trip...
beating you like a red hair step child... this here can get wild like a zoo...
they say ransum you dope... they wouldnt if i was like.... lets say a you...
aint shit free so ya best to start making your money as a prostitute...
a wanna be jesus... so while u walk'in...people i'll start tossing rock at you....
i'll spread the kid brainmatter like musterd.. only thing you packing is butter...
and its like that,
kick your face into the ground and turn ya ass into a bikerack.....
MOTHER FUCKER.....
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Ok, take a look at the ends of your bars.. "Lets say you", "Wild like a zoo" "dessert trip"... Where do i start? Its like theres no set up for a punch because no punch is being thrown, you know? Its easy to diss someone but you want to make it clear when you're doing it, like these verses could've been spit at anyone, not just that guy your dissing, making them ordinary, and for a diss, that isnt good.
My best suggestion is just elavate and keep to the "Diss the person above you" cypher, it helps alot, just got to focus on throwing disses and things that make people laugh at the other person. Try to lose the "Ill kill you" or "Im so hot __insert wack comparison"... Na mean?
Thats real, no hate but you want to be respected only post the hot shit, re-read and edit your verses until there is no filler.
_Sky_