ok i kinda see what u was tryin to do here.. pretty dope stuff.. some rhymes didnt actually rhyme tho... almost like u forced them to rhyme... but still it came out ok.. ok flow off of it... rhymes that i like the most

many speak about me...many watch me closely...
these antagonistic individuals conspire to fold me....
in bisects and visualize me immobilize and collapse....
collide into a callous pavement hoping i wont survive the impact....

those lines were dope and showed some creativity off top... those could be used to great use in a song... dope stuff..
just remember there is plenty of time to elevate... dont force it... keep droping and u urself will evolve with the game...
nice one