Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Timothy Turner
one word....Terrible.
|
^another reason why this site is dead. try giving some constructive criticism.
okay. rather then use the word "feel" to finish off each of your lines; try improving your vocabulary and your internal flow. this means use bigger, more complex words and dont only rhyme at the end of each bar. for example,
the bolded words are internals:
My rhymes are
complex they'll leave you perplexed
I come to
expect you'll have your
intellect flexed
another thing that stuck out to me was your structure. your bars were choppy and it hurt your flow. try to make your lines have a more consistent syllable count throughout.
that's all i have time to criticize at the moment. if you want to collab pm me. keep dropping pieces and i'll continue to comment on them. pz