Don't freepost. One of your links count. Which means this stays open for one month.

Anyway, you need better usage of rhymes, words, and structure in my opinion. Topicals aren't just about writing random shit and trying to act hard - that's for rich rappers on TV. This is an actual piece section where you take a topic or plot, use poetry, interesting words and intricate thoughts to explain what you're trying to say in detail and just leave the reader overall in awe of your intelligence and writing skills.

Now ask yourself, did you really do that here in this piece called "Burnt out dreams"?

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