Out-Spoken
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IP:
pretty decent...i would have liked to see a more complex rhyme scheme...and better vocabulary..but what you did was fairly efficient...you got your point across...maintained syllable count...had some good metaphors and such....the only thing that makes this piece better..is like i said before..vocab and a more complex rhyme scheme.....it's those tangible things that will help you convey your emotion in a more/most concise way.
keep at it man..you're doin good.
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Seek & Destroy
We have fun in my basement
Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.
"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox
The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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