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Old 06-16-08, 11:39 PM   #12
Dickard.
A Life Of Chryme
 
Posts: 5,019
From: Boston
IP:

i like it....this piece reminds me on how i used to write in my notebooks..short but sweet..and you didnt kill the verse with huge words that wouldnt fit..some people dont grasp the meaning of short and sweet..its not meant to have "enhanced" vocabulary..its meant to get straight to the point. which is what u did...but more about the meaning of the verse..i feel the strongest part of your verse came towards the end..because the emotion became more vibrant to me..i felt it come to a deeper stage not just ordinary.....the read in the beginning to me was a little boring you used exclamation poitns but i still didnt feel the emphasis of what you were saying..it was more "blah" but you wrapped this piece up nicely ..im a sucker for emotion..and this piece rocked out with it.

overall 7.5/10 man keep up the dopeness
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A LIFE OF CHRYME
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