[ur ugly dude, no way you get sex...in the bedroom, ur rated the worst
for a girl to Lay Fear, she'd have to throw a pillow over his head 1st
^Alright.

u put blood & sweat into the mag, & rated urself high..its lame dude
^^^ thats such a Crhyme I thought we were in the same crew
^Nah. Kinda lame.

& you'll refuse that statement, but come on dude, u know I'm right
the last time you got through a round, u staggered to stand upright
^No, dude.

no need to keep glorifying ur own efforts.. so please stop.. fag
even if u lose this week, u'll still power rank urself in the mag
^No.

cuz your a fake and you know it...I'll say this before you drop kid
that last time you cuz with proof...ur breath smelled toxic
^Naaah.

& 14 is what you crave for...then then u'll get bounced on hard
cuz the last time seen over 18, you viewed other peoples id cards
^Nah, man.

n I aint fn ya girl again...a ready torn that pus and wrecked it
cuz she got more time for me...but I'm like na-no seconds
^Alright.

Lp, you need to work on creating wittier and harder hitting, humorous punches. Alot of your punches were barely insulting him, and if you change you wording a bit it might help them connect. But, for the most part you just need to come up with some new concepts. You had one or two alright lines though. Maybe spend some more time writing your verse. Might help.

PS- Lmao, I just read through what I wrote about your punches and your verse. I'm not trying to come off as a dick or anything, I'm just kinda rough on some verses. Just trying to give you some constructive criticism to help elevate. So don't take any offense to it.


Faggot ain't shit, ya like dick. As for ya name? ya might wanna spruce it up.
I DO get ya name tho..its just a list of first initials of all the dudes u've fucked.
^Alright.

Your crew ain't convicts, your queers. You should be scared to show face.
If it is a Chryme Sindicate..its only cuz gay marriages ARE illegal in most states.
^Haha. Alright.

His corny verse should be smashed n then flipped, he's always actin like this.
N with all the played concepts he hasbro , he's even got them askin for tips.
^Haha. I liked that one.

I can see the symptoms,..but dope? na I'll have to admit.
Cuz when we read ya verse all we seizure, your fuckin punches spasim an miss.
^I think you added an extra word to this one.

You were brought up to be gay, but even the endings been dealt with.
An as for forefathers - he's just always had three more dads than everyone else did.
^Alright.

Fuck what the facts say, I'll crush you. I doubt your slicker, see.
Cuz this is the first time I've been handed an L,..an actually came out with a victory.
^Haha. Pretty good concept even though "L is played."

Beat him once in the the tourney. Whatever movie makes he'll get hurt son.
N we'll all see that this isn't a Lay vs LP sequel..its jus a re-make of the first one.
^Haha. Pretty good.

I see your goin' for the humor this time around. That is what wins battles though. You came real consistent this week. Most of your punches connected. Also good to see a new flip on old concepts, aswell as fresh concepts. Good shit, bro.

__________________