good flow... concept decent... actully it wasnt but your verse was...creativeness was average but ( above average for people on this site ) there are areas you could touch up because it seems you lost track or tryed to squeez in to many different idead that dont work together for this piece... elaborate a bit before posting some random thought shit it will help u out but nice drop and keep them coming...

P.S NOTICE HE AINT BEEN ON SINCE I SAID HES VERSE SEEN TO FAMILURE....
HMMMMMMMM.....