I did not think this was terrible. Though I did not think to highly of it. You deffinitley showed you have skill and ability to write..your imagery was there in a sense..but with the emotion i feel even with all the ?!?! you kind of didnt make me believe it all that well. Idk just my opinion..i like the idea..and feel u set it up good the concept is good..vocab was there...though one thing to look out on is your spelling....i know its not a big deal ..but when I read a verse...i stop for a moment to make sure im not just an idiot not picking up on a different word.....but overall this is not a bad verse..hopefully you drop more cuz i love reading stuff from you.

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A LIFE OF CHRYME