umm
^^
ok..."original"...every piece is original...lets give some real feedback..the kidd needs it....
son...ya structure was mos def wack...ya vocab very simple....ya subjct was at a nice start...what you need to do is...elaborate on ya feelings....expand ya voab...n switch ya structure....organize ya thoughts n re do this piece..
why does your head hurt as much as ya heart
why do you hear screaming....
detail son..thats what gets the reader....believe
holla
one...hunnet