you have some serious quality issues if you plan to put this on a cd...your voice would need to be louder. your dubs need to be aligned better, and you need to eq a bit. im having problems hearing what your sayin, not cuz your accent, but cuz your verse is living in the lows, and its muddying up syllables that sound the same back to back....you need to play with that....you need less reverb. and it also helps if you pan your reverb a bit like 15 to the left...what program you mixing with? what are you doing to your vocals....they need to be touched up for a wider audience you dont need to change your style just production....
does remind me of some 95 rap song....your about that storytelling type rap....its a fresh reminder of songs i used to love....just gotta touch up some things on your production....read some tutorials ....are you the one singing? or is that the beat....the cuz end made me think it was you, and if it is, thats a nice touch...you have the concept of writing a song down instead of writing lyrics. witch is good...just look up some production stuff

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