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Old 03-05-09, 01:48 PM   #6
bobericc_lyrics
text.even geico can do it
 
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Posts: 349
From: boston
IP:

coke- man, i can tell you were writing from the heart... i mean the rhymescheme wasn't the best in the world and some of the bars didnt flow right. I think as for the emotion, you we're on target. I could see it, getting drunk and causing emotional scars to your family and take that one last sip to console you for the rest of your journey without that type of crutch.. I thought it was heavy throwing your daughter in the verse only one year old telling you to let it go.. lol crazy bastard

vs

Mr. write- theres hardly ever a drop by you i'm not feeling. I needed to reread it to really grasp where you was getting at.. the world is really a fucked up place for a bum.. and the idea of an unemployed entertainer(clown) I don't think i could've thought of that lol. the picture was a great add at the end. and the last line made me feel like you could've made this piece 10 times doper... and it was already tight. alot of lines that made me go back and want to soak in more meaning from them. propers

v/Write
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