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Old 03-07-09, 09:14 PM   #11
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New Jack
 
Posts: 374
IP:

Avoid strecthing your lines out and forcing a ryhme scheme.
You have good imagery, simplify wording... expand vocabulary.
You CAN do both at the same time.

Work on the overall flow, it will be nice to see how you
approach different topics throughout the season.
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