Lose For words

I position my tie in the mirror as my wife gives me a peck on the cheek
The reflection is deep….
I try to hold it together though I’m so desperate to weep

“I’m proud of you Stan, for making a plan and sticking to it……
and if your daughter could understand what you been doing
then she would support everything that your pursuing”

I held it all back except for one tear….
Cause I had to look confident and committed
But this vision is so vivid…..I got caught up in the minute
She just smiled, and I could read it was time to leave…

I went out the door with feelings of all sorts
No more pints and quarts
No more late nights with sports
Its been replaced with sights of court, and slight remorse
Breathalyzers to start my vehicles course
And AA meetings to redirect the force
But Im all game because I must remain to maintain a stable home
I do it all for them, cause I don’t want to stray alone
I’d rather stay in zone
And that’s the reason I’m on my way to begin.
The irreversible transformation of the state that I was in

I expected the highway to be jam packed
So I ransacked the snack cupboards before I left on my quest
This traffic gives me time to rehearse my introduction lines
So many times so the info is stuck in my mind

“My name is Stan, and I’m a alcoholic.”

“My name is Stan, and I’m a alcoholic.”

“My name is Stan, and I’m………..

I’m not sure what happened, but I was startled
The car crashed…
Pieces of small glass were flying in all directions
The noise was deafening, but only lasted for seconds
After, the vehicles smashed parts were scattered in sections…..

I felt alive, but no one was coming to my aid
I could see the reflection the broken mirror had made
To display the baby on board sticker and a familiar license plate
On a car that was in a completely lifeless state
And a body being pulled out the same in comparison.

I laid their helpless in a state words can’t describe
After all I had fought for, my family has still died
Finally I hear the voice of a helper above me

“We got a live one……You’ll be ok buddy….just hang in there…..”

There were voices all around, but my life was not my concern
After all I thought I would earn, another chance at the plot that I yearn
So many questions from helpers

“My name is Ross, What’s yours?”

But now I was pretty much at a loss for words…..

“My name is Stan, and I’m and alcoholic.”

__________________
When I be selling grams I’m slinging bombs like Uncle Sam


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It's ok to make money, Legit or illegal...
But it's treason when you turn your back on your people.