Hotel for Dogs

Its Friday, so let me make this my day of relaxation...
My wife's on vacation, the kids are in my parent’s basement
Playin’ some kinda game &, I just got paid, a fat check too
Just found a decent price on a ride that's brand new...
Hit the town, guys night out so you know we're actin' a fool
They're all high but I haven't smoked bud since highschool
Slipped by the liquor store, spend a pretty penny on some
Patron with lime, a fifth of whiskey, a little henny & rum...
I'm tryna get fucked up, forget all the shit that’s on my mind
hell who knows we might get a whore once I'm drunk blind.

For some reason they wanted a hotel, so we got a suite
so I sit back, kick back my feet & treat myself to a drink
I pounded a couple shots, not a lot - less that I usually do
those high ass's were laughin at shit, then I already knew
I'm gonna have some regrets tonight, no fights though
I might go find me tang & nothin' below a nice hoe...
All my friends were single, bachelors of the city -
ever since I married into a rich bitch I haven't seen tities...
So who knows what might go down later on, I shudder
the last cup of whiskey & coke just might take me under.

At this point I can hardly open my eyes -
but I see in my peripheral nothin' but open thighs.
In just that second, merely a memory at the moment
I couldn't help but get some ass & definitely show'd it.
We went in the back room, I paid so they couldn't be bitchin
I don't remember a rubber - maybe I forgot to mention...
All I know is me and this hoe got it on for a couple hours
I couldn't get off so after the sheets we hit the shower...
She started suckin' me up, I felt like I lucked up as an adult
cuz before the night started I didn't think of this as a result...

This is the part that's scary, I wake up with her layin' beside me
& then I notice her lips, look liked they were dipped in poison ivy
I was shocked, so I knocked the bitch out and drug her down stairs
put the dirty bitch in the truck & dropped her off at the fair...
My friends stared as I glared at them in pure anger -
'You stupid fucks, you saw her lips n' knew that was danger'
I was pissed at my friends, but they were all laughin' n' shit...
They didn't have a wife to live their lives for eternity with...
She was still on vacation, but my kids came back to the house
they asked about me cheating, I denied it despite of their doubts...

Two weeks later, my lips look like the toppings off a pizza
Found out she died later that night, the bitch's name was Lisa.
Simply an hour till my spouse was back, I was worried n' shit
went to take a piss & was scared to even look at my dick...
Then the moment of truth, she got out and gave me a glance
simply said, 'I'm sorry, I fucked around with a man named Lance...'
then we talked out, she cheated on me with some random guy
apparently I wasn't the only member of our family with a crazy night.
Then we hit the bed for one last time, there wasn't a chance
cuz I saw the same shit that's on my lip when I pulled down her pants...

Hotels are for dogs...