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Old 03-11-09, 08:14 PM   #9
Civil.
What' it do?
 
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Posts: 1,979
From: Garden City
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Jonny-wow son, just as good as ever. I havent seen you in a while, i expected
you to be a bit rusty...but DOG, this was nasty. Fuckin dope ass shit, like in the beginning i figured you was going one way with it...then you went another way with it. And overall the twist up was fuckin amazing. I loved the imagery in this piece. Your wording was absolutely fabolous. All in all, i think you did rather well with this topic, not only crushing it in one direction...but like i said, you made a two side mirror with the choice of writing in this. I liked it. Not only did you have emotion, but you showed humour. Great shit.


FU-i normally dont like this kind of structure. It kind of throws the flow and scheme off a bit...but i liked the way you did this. Your wording was a bit simple, overall i think you definately need to up your vocabulary a bit. But your imagery is there. Umm, i dont think you quite hit the topic as well as jonny did. but this verse wasnt bad. Kind of simple, but there. good job jumpin back in the saddle.


v. jonny
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