This was a good battle, both of you had negatives and positives...
One way- You wrote a nice verse, decent size , good rhymes and I could relate to what you wrote down, it was quite intriguing..however, sometimes your flow was mismatched and some of what you wrote was strechted, from what I seen so far on this site, its better just to write nothing at all then to express in elongated thoughts, in other words, shorten what your tryin to say and make it flow better. But overall it was ok
Alpha-Yours was really good as well, you had good structure and I like the conversation idea, there was one quote that struck me and pierced through me
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Alphabetized
my senses were done, and all I had was the crave.
but since it was fun, i had to take back what I gave
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^This bar struck, and I totally agree with what your sayin here cause in my life, I experienced that myself
But, you flow was strectched a lot and it was somtimes hard to follow, I feel as though you try to use too big of words to get your point across and in the end, it screwed up what you were tryin to say and also try to make your ideas more chronological to get your point across....
there was one more quote here as well
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Alphabetized
because some people around are just a waste of an entity
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^hhaha, thats me, entity! and I believe this aswell, some people who live here dont deserve to, be them good or bad, I think you know what I mean
Overall- These were two very good pieces with solid imagery, and I think you both made your points clear, It scares me that I accually have to face you guys down the road, I have to get a lot better...
In my opinion I gunna take Alpha on this one, but it is by a slight margin, I liked his vocab usage at times when it went well to what he was saying, and I think his had a better concept to it, but thats just my views of different concepts
keep up the good work guys...
Vote-
Alpha