Civil - First of all, I havn't seen much from you besides last weeks verse, which I think was better than this weeks, but I can tell you have a similiar topical writing style as to mine. The flow was decent in this and the story was interesting; however, it had the overall feeling of a flawed final product. I think because you rushed it a bit, you didn't live this one out to it's potential. Not to say it wasn't overall still a nice great and a good topical verse, but it could have been better.

vs.


NtT - I'll break it up by stanza's for you.
First, I think the chorus was cool. It went into the piece well, and it's flow was okay.However, the vocabulary seems plain and common and there isn't any inner multi's. (Just my opinion, but a chorus in any topical piece should have some multi's in it.)
The Decision - Your structure takes away from your verse, and chops the flow. In the line "or in life, we deceit ourselves from whats right and far down the road it will bring to the light" that needs to be two lines dude. Overall, this was a decent verse.
The Right Time - Decent, lack of any multi's.
Gunpoint - Okay, the flow was a bit choppy in spots.
Ending - Probably my favorite part of the topical, it provided a twist to the whole story and read very nicely.

Overall, I think you could have built up the man's addiction a little more so that the reader could better connect with him as a person and really delve into how he was thinking. I'd revise this and post it as an OM on another site though for more people's opinion. The story and concept were dope, but the final product was somewhat flawed here. Your improving every week though dude, keep it up.


Vote - Civil.