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Old 03-13-09, 04:31 PM   #6
N†T
Maggot
 
Posts: 100
From: The Wu
IP:

2 good pieces

JTR- yours was good, I liked your topic and structure I like what you said in your piece and I could relate to it, I laughed at some of the things you wrote down cause I kinda experienced those too with my good friends, this piece really hit home for me. But at times your flow was somewhat choppy and some lines didnt go right with what your were tryin to say, and I know its hard to do with what you wrote, but expand your vocab a lil to make it more intriguing, but that sometimes is hard to do when your writing an account of something but overall, you wrote this well and youll do very good as this season goes by, I look forward to more pieces you write.

Boberic- I liked what you were writin here man, it was pretty dope, it played out like a story, and I like those kinds since I like to write those myself, your vocab was much better and your imagery was crazy, but with the strong vocabulary, you kinda threw off your flow at times, that seems to happen to a lot of people when they try to put too big words in their pieces to try to connect to what theyre saying, hell, it happens to me all the time, I think you coulda made this much better and made this longer, you had the right Ideas, just put more of what your thinkin down on your verse. But overall it was good and I look forward to seein what you write down these next weeks as well..


Since I'm just startin to do this shit, I learned a lot from both of your verses believe me, by readin these its gunna help me get better at writing topicals, solid work

Vote-JTR
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