Good drop man, you played out a nice story
You painted a good picture man, I could see it gettin played out man and it reminded me of what it wouldve been like in colombine or somthin
your flow was good, I feel like you could used bigger vocab but I know its hard when your writing point of view topicals so vocab ISN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
the only flaw somewhat was your ending, I felt it was kinda rushed and shorted and the flow was choppy at times if you fix that it could be a pretty good song, I feel like I write a lot like you and I wish I could meet you somehow to get to know you and shit cause I think we have the same style n its pretty chill
overall it was very good and I look forward to reading more of your topicals
my link:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=249828