Herb
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IP:
Seemed like you were getting some frustraitions out in this piece man. I dug the topic, although some would jump on the 'columbine band wagon' and say this was in bad taste, i just think a topical is a topical and should be judged on its own merit. You conveyed your narrators emotions clearly throughout and your rhyme scheme was on point for the most part. I reckon your use of vocab could've been a little stronger but that wasn't a major issue. You kept me reading til the end, good work for a piece of this length.
keep posting, cheers for the rep.
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