yo... you had the multies, you had the flow, and the vocab, but you lacked lengh, and different sounding words to rhyme with... I mean it's all ...ies... and ... ions... shit could have definitely used more words...
Yo you could have developed this into something nice man, shit just stopped abruptly, like you gave a strong intro, but no body or conclution man... thas all I saw wrong with it... from the little I read... it was hot...

Peace