hmmmm....and i mean HMMMMMM.....

...it's kind of hard to follow your pieces sometimes, cos your structure seems to be non-existent...i mean you go to a new line without actually finishing the full 'sentence'....therefore fragmenting it to such an extent that it makes it seem a bit stop-start and akward...

...but once you get into it, to an extent, you can fee the piece, with all it's imagery and rawness....and strong usage of vocab....

...but still, it's weird how you put it in such an akward and non-existent structure...

..and also one more thing, why do you start every word with a capital?!....no hate, just asking like...

still, structure and capital letters aside...it was a good piece...