Ima spill my heart here

Do you know what is like to have the flu all day/
till u drop shit in the bulb and blow it away?/
all your money goes down the drain/
and theres always a constant cloud of rain/
over your head, should you go or stay,/
lock ur self in a closet and block out sun rays/
or get busted then run away/
or to be a ward of the state//
the only thing that calms u down is a pen and pad/
the constent mood swings, hyper, happy then mad//
then sad and noone wantsta be around you/
well i do, you do what ur sposed to//
but theres a hidden secret always in your head//
and noone knows the pain you suffer through//
the constant desire to be dead,//
the ephedrine game, the dope train/
tweak what ever you wanna say//
the only time you stay calm is when your blowin tweeds/
your ned for more methanphetamine is deemed//
an addiction, cuz you cant breathe with out it/
hit the glass till your eyes roll back in your brain//
your mind is sped and you cant think with out it//
u stay up for a month and your body shuts down//
you cant move with out it, it controls your every motion/
its notion, to suck you in to its ocean/
all your ties to outside life broken//
i live in the werst meth state,/
136.7 labs busted everyday//
the crime rate, roberys for the scrill/
so you can steadily kill ur brain away//
i ran away when i was 14, you cant imagine my strife/
now i gotta son and soon to be wife/
that i cant take care of cuz i ruined my life//
my ruined life i want to take every day/
but my sons the only thing that allows my soul to stay/
the sick shows that go on in ur brain/
after a while you start to hallucinate/
no way to rejuvinate /
exept to crawl in bed with no light and sleep 300 days//
then you wake up later and go right back to the geetar/
your heart so fast, you walk and have to take a breather//
you just dont know what is like to watch a bulb fill up with smoke/
or the felling you get when the powder hits the back of ur throat//
the taste, thats the most addicting part/
but dont start be smart //
unless you want the dope flu/
but its hella safer to get a sik person to coff on you//
you dont want it, stick to the tweeds/
unless you wanna wind up and be wound up like me/
a 4 year old son, and your only 19/
ur girl cheats, and u gotta choke niggaz till the cant breathe/
i cant afford a ring to ask her to get married/
cuz all my money goes to methanphetamine//
and your parinoid that everythings a cop/
you drop your shit, then you come back and it gone//
its in someone elses nose, and i get worried//
that a kid got my shit and his lifes ruined too/
and that hell be like me, wont know what the hell to do//
you cant just stop, that shit is "2 liggett 2 quit"/
it dont stop, it goes till ur life come to an end//
wll my life is almost over, and it hasent even begun/
it was a nice run it was filled wit a ton of fun//
but it was ran by a dictator named meth/
ran my life to the end, to my death//
but im begging you not to suffer its wrath/
but its a good thing you dont know any of that/
it meens dope aint got to you yet//
but ill bet, youll get it offered to you maybee not today/
but im warning you stay away, theres nuthin but pain in its wake//
now your warned lets see what you do/
unless your already hooked too//